I transcribed Jim Irsay’s blurry potato video so that you don’t want to observe it 15 instances

Hours after being launched I’m nonetheless not totally satisfied this isn’t a ransom video from Jim Irsay, or at greatest some bizarre AI deepfake.

In it, you may see Irsay, standing a great six toes from the digicam, on a loud jet — all whereas filmed on a potato with the digicam from a 2005 Motorola Razr connected. I’d ask him to blink twice if he was being held towards his will, however the polarized lenses make it inconceivable.

Transcription isn’t my favourite factor, nevertheless it’s a vital job requirement. Over time I’ve gotten fairly good at taking video and turning it into readable textual content rapidly, however I’ll be damned if this one didn’t break me. After dozens of pauses and playbacks, right here it goes.

“Alright. Leaving Las Vegas. Heading to Palm Seashore for some NFL committee conferences… however wow, what a weekend we had. The live performance was unbelievable. The time shift transfer (?) was very tough, however we received off to a midday begin because of Mark Davis and Criss Angel for making an attempt to assist with different venues, however we received it in and what a present it was Billy F. Gibbons, Vince Gill, Stephen Stills, Kevin Cronin and REO Speedwagon, the entire thing was unbelievable. So, we had a good time in Vegas … firing off the bottom (?) and simply trying ahead to 2023, and the place the subsequent present is … nobody is aware of!”

Okay, so Irsay was speaking about his “Jim Irsay Live performance Expertise,” which is what would occur for those who dad channeled his all his midlife crises right into a touring present. It’s Irsay taking part in music with rock stars he loves and displaying off his memorabilia.

To his credit score the live performance is free. Perhaps placing on an occasion like for this reason Irsay doesn’t have a greater digicam than one he dredged up from a lake mattress.