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NFL Playoffs Championship Video games 2023: 49ers, Eagles, Chiefs, Bengals mascots face off

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28 de janeiro de 2023

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We’ve all heard the outrageous and hypothetical matchups between members of the animal kingdom. It normally begins with one among your pals getting a bit too inebriated earlier than they flip to you and ask, “Who do you suppose would win in a combat: 10 silverback gorillas or 1,000 rats?”

After taking a second to remind your self that this individual IS a sensible and first rate human being, you determine to humor them with a official reply. That turns into much more questions and that stirs up even additional debate.

Clearly the reply to the aforementioned query is the ten gorillas — and no, I can’t be accepting any counter arguments.

Now, let’s think about this exact same state of affairs however swap these animals with the mascots for every of the remaining 4 NFL groups enjoying on this weekend’s convention championship video games.

Additionally, by mascots, I imply the literal beings that they characterize (not the individuals in big furry costumes), so the Eagles are an actual eagle and the Bengals are a bonafide tiger. Cool, proper? I believed so.

With out additional ado, let’s get to the story of the tape.

NFC Championship: 49ers vs. Eagles

Fighter: Sourdough Sam, a miner from 1849 who trekked throughout the nation for the possibility to strike it wealthy in Northern California
Top: 5’8
Weight: 140 kilos
Weapon of alternative: A rusty pickaxe that’s seen higher days

Vs.

Fighter: A bald eagle bursting on the seams with freedom
Top: 3 foot (6-foot-5 wingspan)
Weight: 14 kilos
Weapon of alternative: Razor-sharp two-inch talons

Resolution: Sourdough Sam by TKO

In the end, I imagine this one finally ends up going to Sourdough Sam however not with out a formidable efficiency by the bald eagle.

Within the yr 2023, the typical male is sort of a bit bigger than over 170 years in the past — they usually’d nonetheless probably be scared out of their minds on the sight of a bald eagle dive-bombing them from above. However these miners have been merely constructed completely different again then. Plus, he has a pickaxe.

I imply, these dudes would merely peace out from their households and WALK themselves all the way in which to the west coast for an extremely minuscule probability that they’d MAYBE discover some gold nuggets in a random riverbed. Most people this point in time get large anxiousness about answering a cellphone name! These prospectors took an unfathomable quantity of risks straight to the chest, which tells me they’d stand agency, pickaxe in hand, ready for the possibility to knock the eagle out of the sky with a well-timed swing.

However let’s stay awake on the eagle’s willpower. Similar to the NFL fan base he represents, this feathered power received’t be saved down by just a few good wallops. So long as he can nonetheless flap his wings, he’ll maintain coming and coming.

However in the long run, Sourdough Sam solely wants one excellent shot to erase the eagle’s benefit: Mobility. One efficient clip to the wing and it’s sport over.

AFC Championship: Bengals vs. Chiefs

Fighter: A behemoth Bengal tiger who has in all probability by no means recognized worry
Top: 10 foot (on their hind legs)
Weight: 500 kilos
Weapon of alternative: Energy to crush a cranium in a single swipe

Vs.

Fighter: A grey wolf with immeasurable confidence to go at this alone
Top: 5’0 (on their hind legs)
Weight: 145 kilos
Weapon of alternative: An amazing want to guard its territory

Resolution: Bengal tiger in an awesome victory

I want I might make this one a bit extra attention-grabbing, however you must suppose this goes to the tiger in a landslide. The Bengal is nearly 4 occasions as heavy and twice the scale of the wolf, who usually would solely tackle such an opponent like this with its pack behind him. On this case, he’s flying solo.

One may suppose that the wolf’s smaller dimension implies that’s he’s additionally extra cell and evasive. This really isn’t the case. A tiger can attain speeds as quick as 40 miles per hour, which is greater than sufficient to match, and even outpace, his enemy.

If you happen to have been to Google the query, “What number of wolves might take down a tiger?” you’d get a lot of solutions starting from 5 or 6 wolves to nicely over 15 to twenty. One remark thread relating to this very subject on Quora.com features a story from Siberia the place a single tiger was supposedly attacked by a complete wolf pack. The tiger killed 12 of the wolves and left the scuffle alive.

I went on to study that in locations the place each tigers and wolves co-exist, the tigers are literally at fault for killing wolves to close extinction!

If there was ever a lop-sided combat inside the animal kingdom, that is it!

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